Sex Surveys Of Teenagers Prove Inaccurate: Teens Tend To Become Virgins Again

The validity of surveys of teenage sexual behavior has recently been brought into serious question. While it has always been known that many members of the age group may exaggerate the extent of their sexual experiences, despite what their parents might think if they found out about the imagined delights, it has come to light that girls, as well as boys who wish to apply the nomenclature to themselves, who confessed that they had had sex in a previous survey responded in a subsequent survey that they were now virgins.

The researchers, unaccustomed to the concept of recurring virginity, decided to sort out the confusing result.

They have now ascertained the cause of the puzzling return to a virginal state. It appears that many teens opt to take a vow of chastity after they've had some experience in the absence of that demanding virtue. Once they've taken the vow, they are inclined to decide that the experiences they had before their new devotion to chastity don't count anymore.

A new survey has been scheduled that is intended to determine why nature, which really ought to know better, insists on pervading the bodies of these otherwise innocent juveniles with hormones and the resultant physical developments that compel them toward any interest at all in sex.

As every informed person knows, the most responsible members of this budding age group would rather be able to concentrate on such far more age-appropriate activities as board games.

Tom Attea, creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs.